ThreeHundredTwelve Birthdays for Yuber
by Funky Tanuki
Summary: Yuber is old. He is first introduced in Solar Year 150, and Suikoden's latest date is Solar Year 478. 478-150 equals 312. Thus, 312 birthdays are in order.
1. Solar Year 150

Windy has been in the company of Yuber for a while, and even though he was not a "friend", she deemed it acceptable to at least do one pointless act on his behalf. So, shortly after the failed attempt to claim the Rune of Life and Death from the Hidden Rune Village, she approached the Black Knight.

Upon her approach, the demon looked up. "Hm…?"

"It hasn't been terribly long, but… Happy Birthday."

His response clearly contained stupefaction. "You think I have concern for human traditions?"

In order to cover up her blunder, she added, "I just wanted to see."


	2. Happy Birthday, Yuber!

There was a reason why Yuber chose to hang around with monsters that didn't speak. However, every so often, there was an unfortunate exception, an exception that was troublesome to both parties.

The black knight could hardly fathom how the skeleton managed speech, but that was the least of his worries. Between wheezy gasps, the skeleton attempted to sing, "Happy biiiiiiirrssssday too youuuuuu!"

The fact that the skeleton finished the first line before Yuber diced and sliced it, made him wonder as to whether or not he was slacking.

Did Yuber hate singing or was his age getting to him?


	3. Lolwut

It was during the end of the Dunan Unification War that Pesmerga finally had an opportunity to cross blades with Yuber.

"You!" He cried out as his sword fell in a heavy arc. His adversary, however, was equally experienced with swordsmanship and parried with a rising horizontal motion.

For a while the two Black Knights glared at each other—their swords never wavering. What had caused their feud, Pesmerga's hatred to the blonde? Was Pesmerga also a true rune bearer? Why did both men have the title of "Black Knight"?

Their clashing swords revealed not a thing.

"Happy Birthday."

"Lolwut?"


	4. They Often Go Awry

In all things, although she was rather stoic, Sarah gave it her all. Considering, that even though she hated the methods, she assisted the Destroyers with the best of her abilities. Thus, is it such a far cry to believe that she is a hard-worker?

She had spent most of the morning making a highly intricate cake. It had much detail and many layers. She even made little sugared candies to decorate the top. Surprisingly enough, all of that effort was not for Luc.

She took a bite. You know what they say about those best laid plans?

"Sorry, Yuber."


	5. Love, Your Fanclub

By merely looking at Yuber, one could easily deduce that he was not a very jumpy person. However, there were two dates in which he was extra trigger-happy. Figuratively. Unfortunately, today was one of them.

A piece of paper slid underneath the door, and he could easily make out the large, colorful letters:

_**HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YUBERPIE!**_

_**LOVE**_

_**FANCLUB **_

Yuber had to wonder how these strangers not only knew what inn he was in but also when his birthday was. That group's intelligence network must be unfathomable.

If he could make it through today, all he had left would be Valentine's.


	6. Three Hundred and Six Bottles of Beer

"Three hundred and six bottles of beer on the wall, three hundred and six bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, three hundred and five bottles of beer on the wall!"

The drunken voice was coming from outside of his room, and it was really, really pissing him off. Taking hold of his King Crimson, Yuber made to slaughter the idiot. If it was another skeleton…

As he opened the door, a person, probably the drunkard, fell onto the floor. "Happy –hic- Birthday!"

"Neclord?!" He couldn't kill him just yet since he helped Windy, but… Vampires get drunk?


	7. Rum, Vodka, Wine

He does it once a year, and never forgets… No, his fanclub ensures that he can never forget. For that one special day a year when he gets a little older but never grayer, he finds a secret place hide; away from women and men; and skeletons; and Neclords; and Liberation Armies; and Orange Armies; and runes; and armor stealing, face stealing, style stealing Psermergas…. And he sits in a contemplative silence. Drinking rum, and vodka, and wine, and beer, and brandy, and whiskey, and…

What? Dealing with all that bullshit, even Yuber needs to get wasted on his b-day!


End file.
